Eleanor Yap
Choong Siet Mei supported her 52-year-old husband, Tan Whee Boon, when he had a severe bout of food poisoning from eating raw fish two years ago, resulting in a near-death experience. The 49-year-old shared, “The cells in his limbs died off and turned black. They had no choice but to amputate. Initially, he didn’t know they had to amputate and when he found out, he was concerned what he could do without his legs.”
The Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH) doctors managed to save his life but Whee Boon lost his hands and legs in August 2015. Since the incident, Siet Mei has been by his side to care not only for his physical mobility needs but also his emotional needs.
The mother of two said, “Initially, he couldn’t do daily tasks like brushing his teeth and I had to help him. He used to be able to change the light bulbs in the house and couldn’t do it now. He would say, ‘If I had hands I would be able to it myself’. Eventually, I tried my best to help out with everything. I would ask him to leave the room so he wouldn’t get frustrated and I would sort things out.”
The turning point
It was a chance meeting with a man at the TTSH rehabilitation centre in September 2015 that was his epitome. The 40-plus man turned out to be their son’s teacher’s brother and a stroke patient. Though the man had his hands and legs, he was unable to move them and could only blink his eyes. In seeing him, Whee Boon, a technician previously, counted himself lucky as he could still communicate with his family. It was this and Siet Mei’s encouragement, dedication and love that spurred him on further.
“My husband liked to go out before his amputation and I was the one who didn’t like to go out. However, I had to change and I would often bring him out,” she shared. Married for 18 years now, Siet Mei said that when he would throw a tantrum, he would feel bad for her, and when he gets angry, it would be more towards himself rather than her. She laughed, “Now I have three children!”
Though she was a housewife since when her elder daughter was born in 2000, she was able to be there for him. She had to get up earlier than usual, make breakfast, help him with his prosthetic legs and do a daily 2km walk with him. When she wasn’t at home, she would get her children to pack food for him. “I didn’t want them to help too much as I told them they needed to focus on their studies.”
Though she was not all strength then, she often had times when she broke down and cried, but she has found an outlet to help with her stress – hanging out with friends. “I would be okay after crying and talking to my friends; my husband doesn’t know that I cry and I don’t want to stress him out by knowing this.” She admitted that she never harboured any thoughts of giving up even though at times, particularly in the early days, it was emotionally and physically tiring. She also placed enormous stress on herself – “When I help shower him, sometimes I feel I can’t reach his standards.”
When Whee Boon was in rehabilitation, the couple was asked to join the TTSH Amputee Patient Support Group. They have been going together once a month since September 2015. Together, the couple often visit other amputee patients in the hospital to befriend them, share their story of perseverance, or just to lend a sympathetic ear.
Renewed confidence
Today, Whee Boon has a renewed enthusiasm and zest for life. He engages in physical sports such as wheelchair rugby and has been taking computer courses to upgrade his skills in hopes of re-entering the workforce soon. “He is very independent now. He only needs help with showering and going to the restroom. He can make calls and have his own meals by himself,” Siet Mei shared. She recently took on a part-time job as a cashier.
For her dedication to her husband, she was recently awarded the Singapore Patient Caregiver Award (Individual) at the fifth Singapore Patient Conference at TTSH. The committee received an overwhelming 61 applicants. Humbled by the award, she doesn’t feel she has done anything spectacular. She shared: “I feel it is my duty as his wife to be by his side and to provide support. It is my responsibility.”
