ContributorsTwelve years have gone by since 79-year-old Harry Foo was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2004. In those years, his faithful spouse and caregiver, Janie Lee, 72, has been by his side every step of the way – patient, in waiting and in service – taking care of him and making him comfortable.
Her typical routine starts when she wakes at 6am in the morning. She begins with oral hygiene – brushing Harry’s teeth, cleaning his dentures, and doing a thorough mouth wash. Then she moves on to his eyes, gently cleaning them with cotton swabs and applying eye drops. After that, she supervises their domestic helper during his bath time and serves him breakfast afterwards.
When 9am rolls by, Janie takes Harry to St Luke’s ElderCare Serangoon Centre for physical maintenance exercises, psychosocial and cognitive activities as well as physiotherapy. She accompanies him back home at 3pm.
In the evenings, she supervises their domestic helper in bathing him once again, preparing a soft-diet dinner and then assisting him in taking his dinner. After dinner is when she spends time talking to him and watching TV together.
Throughout their five decades of marriage, the couple has weathered many bittersweet moments starting from their first dance with each other at a tea party organised by friends. These are memories that Janie still fondly recalls even as she faces the many struggles in caring for her husband.
During those initial years of the disease when Harry was still able to walk, there were numerous occasions when he fell and struggled to walk slowly with frequent freezing. On one such occasion, he sustained a head injury and had to be admitted to hospital for neurosurgery. During the period of hospitalisation, Janie unfailingly visited him daily from 9am to 8pm to take of him.
These days, Janie wakes up at least three times a night to change Harry’s diaper. And as the disease progresses, his medical condition has deteriorated. Some nights, he gets restless. He does not know what he is doing, but he would walk out of the bedroom to the living room. On a few such occasions, he has fallen more than once. Now, whenever Harry is awake, Janie stays vigilant watching over him.
Her mind is never far away from her husband. Even as she goes out to run her errands, her mind still thinks of him and wonders if he is doing all right at home. Her selflessness as a wife is exemplary.
An expression of deep gratitude from Harry matches the devotion his wife has shown. He apologises for the challenges and the years she has endured for him. Theirs is a love that is deep and unfaltering. He counts his wife a blessing.
But to Janie, the cheerful smile she sees on Harry’s face every morning is enough to sustain her through tough times, stating simply that, “he is my husband and the only thing that matters is for him to be happy”.
** This article has been reprinted with permission from St Luke’s ElderCare’s newsletter “Touch of Grace”.
ADDITIONAL NOTES: There is the non-profit Parkinson Society Singapore (PSS), which provides a wide range of customised programmes for loved ones with Parkinson’s, and counselling and training for caregivers. The Society also provides information and access to the various support groups organised by the hospitals. There is an exclusive support group called the Youthful Parkinson Circle (YPC), which is open to PSS members who were diagnosed with Parkinson before age 60. The YPC meets quarterly at PSS.
